EMBRACING THE UNEXPECTED
we are honored to share the heartfelt story of one of our incredible EPIFEM Queens Mrs Dorothy Vhukeya —a story marked by vulnerability, and grace.
From the hopes of a carefully imagined birth plan to the unexpected realities of an emergency delivery, her journey into motherhood reminds us that strength is often revealed in the moments we never planned for. With honesty, she opens up about the fears, the healing, the lessons, and the quiet resilience that carried her through one of life’s most transformative experiences.
Her story is a beautiful reminder that there is no perfect path to motherhood but only the deeply personal journey of becoming. And in that journey every tear, every triumph tells a story of strength.
As you read, may you be encouraged by her authenticity, inspired by her resilience, and reminded of the power found in embracing the unexpected.
1. Did you have a preferred method of delivery? Why was that?
I initially wanted a natural vaginal delivery because I felt it would allow for a quicker recovery and a more “connected” experience with my body. I also believed it would be best for both me and my baby if everything went smoothly.
– What was your final delivery method?
I ended up having an emergency C-section.
– Did anything change from your original birth plan?
Yes, things didn’t go exactly as planned. I had to learn very quickly that birth is unpredictable and sometimes medical intervention is necessary for the safety of both mom and baby.
– What fears did you have going into delivery?
I was mainly afraid of the pain and the unknown. I also feared complications and whether my baby would be okay.
2. What did you feel when you heard your baby’s first cry?
It’s honestly indescribable. It was a mix of relief, overwhelming love, and gratitude. In that moment, nothing else mattered- it felt like everything I had gone through was suddenly worth it 🥹🥹
3. What did you learn from your overall experience?
I learned that I am stronger than I thought. Birth humbled me and taught me to surrender control. It also showed me that every woman’s journey is unique, and there’s no “perfect” way to give birth.
4. What would you tell a woman who is at term and preparing for her delivery?
Go in with a plan, but hold it loosely. Trust your body, trust your medical team, and most importantly, give yourself grace. Your experience may not look like someone else’s and that’s okay.
5. How long did your healing journey take?
Healing is still ongoing in some ways. Physically, it took a few weeks to start feeling like myself again, but emotionally and mentally, it’s a longer journey that continues as you adjust to motherhood.
6. Many women struggle with unspoken postpartum depression — what helped you through this season?
What helped me was allowing myself to be honest about how I was feeling and not trying to be “perfect.” Having support, whether from my partner, family, or even just talking things through, made a big difference. Also, reminding myself that it’s okay to ask for help. Most importantly, I went for therapy and it helped a lot. (thanks to my psychologist)
7. As a first-time mom, were you hard on yourself?
Yes, very. I constantly questioned whether I was doing things right. But over time, I learned to be kinder to myself and understand that I was learning every day and 18 months later, I am still learning
8. Do you think being knowledgeable and informed is important to help one stay calm during pregnancy?
Yes, knowledge definitely helps reduce anxiety because you know what to expect. But it’s also important not to overwhelm yourself with too much information.
– What sources of information helped prepare you for this journey?
I relied on my doctor’s guidance, a bit of online research, and my friend who is a obgyn in making, her advise really helped me a lot but I learned to filter what I took in.
9. Do you think listening to non-expert voices helps in any way? Were other people’s experiences similar to what you experienced?
Non-expert voices can be helpful in making you feel less alone, but they can also create unnecessary fear or pressure. I realised that no two birth experiences are the same, so it’s important not to compare too much.
10. What did you pack in your delivery bag, and what did you find most useful?
I packed essentials like comfortable clothes, toiletries, baby clothes, diapers, wipes, and important documents.
What I found most useful were:
* Comfortable loose clothing
* Maternity pads
* Snacks
* Charger/phone
* Baby essentials (especially extra outfits)